


The Lost Journal Pages of Rose Tyler

by ALC



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Diary/Journal, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-07
Updated: 2016-08-31
Packaged: 2018-07-22 01:50:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7413859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ALC/pseuds/ALC
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose and the Ninth Doctor are stranded on Earth in the year 2010- the TARDIS is gone and both are trying to work out what to do.  Read how they cope with this new situation through the eyes of Rose via her journal.  </p><p>I believe I'll be updating this by chapter and maybe twice a month from Rose's POV.  If you're too impatient to wait, you can read individual dates as I upload them on tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

22 October

We’ve been here a week. He told me it’d be a good idea to do this, to write down what’s happening. I thought about writing mum a letter, but it’s not like I can send it to her. I don’t know how to deal with any of this.

We’re moving out of this awful little hotel in two days. The Doctor found us a flat. I haven’t seen it yet, but he said it was nice enough. I found a job at a chippy. It’s not so bad, but I don’t want to be there long. Really, we just need a little bit of money coming in. He said he’ll get a job as a doctor or as a professor. I think once I’m through laughing and poking fun, I’ll honestly cry. The thought of him chained down, doing a job for pay…it’s not funny in the least.

I still can’t forget the look on his face. We landed, stepped out of the ship, and she just started to dematerialize. He was shocked…shocked and hurt and something else I can’t explain. It scared me. No- it scares me; present tense. Because I don’t know if we can ever go back, and I’m afraid what it’ll do to him. 

If I’m honest, I’m afraid he’ll leave me. 

\--R. Tyler 

 

~OOoOO~

 

27 October

We’re just starting to settle into this new place. We’ve got next to nothing in the way of possessions, and it’s been a bit of a nuisance. Think about the little things you use every day. Shower curtain? Kitchen table? Rubbish bin? Chairs? Cutting board? It’s a million little things and in a way, I suppose it’s been a blessing, because it’s been giving us something to do. We’ve found a few items second-hand; now the living room now has an old maroon love seat and a blue recliner. The kitchen has a dilapidated table and two mismatched chairs. Better than nothing.

He’s gone out to see about filling a position in the doctor’s office down the street. They’re looking for a GP. He told me he has the medical knowledge to do the job and do it well, and I believe him. He’s fixed me up on more than one occasion and even without the scan machines and equipment on the TARDIS, I know he’ll be able to help people. 

We haven’t got a telly right now, so he’ll tell me stories at night, sometimes. Things he’s seen and things he’s done. He gets this wistful look on his face. It’s endearing. 

We’re sleeping on foam mats right now because we don’t have any beds. I’m hoping that in the next week or so, we’ll be able to get actual mattresses. I’ve decided that I’m definitely not meant to sleep on the floor. I tried sleeping on the love seat, but it’s too narrow and small. 

I suppose I should go out and see about fixing something for tea. We have a saucepan, 2 wooden spoons, a plastic mixing bowl, a set of measuring spoons, and a baking sheet. I’m not sure what’s left from the small stock of groceries we bought a few days ago, but I’m guessing there’s not a lot left. Wish me luck, I’m going to need it.

\--R. Tyler

PS. I’m still worried about him.  
PPS. I’m starting to miss my mum a lot…and Mickey and Shareen and about a million other people. I’m still glad I’m with him, though. 

 

~OOoOO~

 

 

29 October

We went to a park today. He brought bits of bread to feed the ducks. I joked that it was something pensioners would do but he gave me one of those daft grins of his and reminded me of his age. I forget because…I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because most of the time it doesn’t seem like he’s that old. 

Oh! The big news- he got the job. Not that I ever doubted he would, but still. The money the Doctor had on him (which wasn’t much) is depleted and the chippy, as you may have guessed, doesn’t pay well. With him working as a GP, we’ll have a steady income. I say we, and maybe it’s presumptuous of me, but I am wearing his ring right now… 

About that- the neighbors downstairs stopped us and asked how long we’d been married last night. I think my jaw must have hit the floor, but the Doctor only smiled and said ‘six months’. We were congratulated and the couple went on their way. I gave him an odd look, but he brushed the whole thing off, saying it’d be much easier if people believed us to be married instead of only dating. He bought us a cheap set of wedding bands- second hand, so that’s been a rather interesting development. It’s all just pretend, of course. He’d never get married…especially to someone like me. The ring looks kind of nice on my finger. 

I digress. I scrubbed out clothes as best I could in the sink with some value brand detergent today. The clothes are hanging here and there in the flat…the place certainly looks more interesting with jeans, jumpers, and everything else hung up. I hung the knickers and bras in the bedroom just in case someone stops by. I mean, you never know. He won’t be back till later, so I figured it was okay. 

I don’t think I’ve mentioned this before, but we’re in 2010. Not a whole lot is different other than the mobiles and cars. It’s why I can’t look my mum up and I’m supposed to stay well away from her flat. We don’t know what the other me is up to. I’m tempted to spy but he made me promise I wouldn’t. He was adamant, so I suppose I’ll have to be good. I’ve no idea what I’ll say if I bump into my mum somewhere…

\--R. Tyler 

PS. I can’t believe I forgot! While we were in the park, he told me something about the time lines feeling different since we got here. I asked him if that was bad and he said he didn’t know. I’m trying to keep calm, but I have no idea what this could mean. It’s more than a little stressful.

 

~OOoOO~

 

 

31 October

I’m nervous about something completely different tonight. Someone followed me home. I know what you’re thinking- it’s Halloween and lots of people are out and doing tricks and that- except it was late and there was no one else around.

Two days ago, this bloke came into the chippy on my shift. He just ordered a basket of chips, ate them, and left. He was wearing a gray jacket and had on a baseball cap. I remember because I asked him what the logo on it meant and he said it was an American football team he liked.

The next day I was working a different shift, but he came in again- ordered chips, sat and talked with me a bit. He seemed nice, if maybe a little odd. I’ve only been at the job for a couple weeks and I just figured he was a regular…I asked one of the girls about the man in the gray jacket with the baseball cap, and she just shrugged.

He came in again tonight. I worked the late shift tonight, till close. We had a few kids come in dressed up, and the manager left a bucket with some sweets to hand out. I thought I saw him standing outside then- earlier in the day, but maybe I was wrong. Anyway, a few minutes to close, this bloke comes in again. It’s late and there’s nobody in the place except myself and the cook in the back. I took his order- just chips- and left him at the table while I went back to work. 

I was cleaning up, getting things ready for close, but I could feel his eyes on me. I turned around and asked him if he needed anything. He had an odd look on his face but said no. His chips were ready and I brought them over to him. He started to eat.

I went back and finished cleaning my tables. When I turned around, he was right behind me. I jumped and he apologised, asking if he could have a few more napkins. There’s a napkin dispenser at his table and I pointed it out. He _had_ to have seen it. It’s right there. He feigned ignorance, and when I walked past him, his hand brushed my bum. I spun around, but he’d turned back around and I supposed that it had been an accident and he was embarrassed. 

He asked me for my number before he left. I refused and said I was already taken, but thank you. I know he saw the wedding band I’m wearing because he commented on it, saying it was a bit plain. He said if he had someone like me, he’d be sure to give me something prettier. I told him it made me happy, and he didn’t say anything else. 

He finally finished his chips and paid. I was relieved when he left and locked the door behind him as it was closing time.

I thought it was over. This was the first time I’d closed up on my own, so I was already a bit nervous, wanting to be sure I did everything on the checklist. After I was positive everything was as it should be, I said goodnight to the cook and locked the place up. It’s not a far walk back to the flat- only a few blocks. 

It was chilly outside and I was walking pretty quickly, wanting to get back. I thought I heard something behind me, but when I turned around, no one was there. I chalked it up to nerves and continued. 

I heard footsteps behind me again, closer this time. When I spun around a second time, I caught a glimpse of his jacket as he ducked behind a tree. It looked darker in the moonlight, but I’m sure it was him. I ran the rest of the way home and didn’t look back again. 

The Doctor asked me why I was out of breath and what was wrong, but I’m afraid to tell him. Maybe I was wrong and maybe I’m blowing it all out of proportion…but I’m really kind of afraid. I don’t know what to do. If I tell the Doctor, I’m worried what he’ll think and how he’ll react. 

I have to work another closing shift in two days and I’m already dreading it. What if he comes back? I think I need to sleep on it and figure out what I should do. 

\--R. Tyler


	2. Chapter 2

2 November

I’m home- thanks to the Doctor. My hands are shaking and it’s hard to write. He’s in the other room and said he’d come in soon. When I peeked into the room, he was just sitting on the love seat with his head in his hands. I don’t know if I’m more afraid of what happened or of what he’s going to come in and say to me. 

I had to close again tonight. That man with the baseball cap didn’t come in at all yesterday and I didn’t see him tonight, so I thought everything was okay. After the place was cleaned, the till was counted down, and I was ready to leave, I said goodnight to the cook and left. 

I looked up and down the street, but it seemed deserted and no one was around. I was relieved. About a block out it’s kind of…quieter. I make a left onto Briggs and there’s only a brick wall for half a block that’s the fence for someone’s garden, and an empty house. The other side of the street isn’t much better. Just a shop- closed for the evening by the time I come by. When I turned the corner, he was there in the shadows. 

I honestly don’t know if I screamed or not. He grabbed my arm and I pulled away, but he had a tight grip on me. I tried kicking, but he blocked my shots. I still don’t know how he managed to do that. He pushed me against the brick wall and kept saying that he didn’t want to hurt me, that we had a connection and didn’t I feel it too? I tried fighting him until he pushed back hard enough that my head hit the brick and I started to get dizzy. 

He was quiet, holding me there, not really hurting me, but not allowing me to leave, either. I don’t know how long it was before I asked him to please let me go. He said he couldn’t; that I’d go to the police and his life would be ruined and couldn’t I just understand that he loved me and needed me? 

He’d only met me a few days ago. How could this have happened so fast? Aren’t stalkers supposed to obsess over people for ages? 

After awhile he leaned in closer and started to kiss me. I knew I had to do something- I would not end up assaulted by this man. I tried kneeing him as hard as I could, but I missed my target (his balls) and only managed to hit his thigh. It was enough to push him aside, but he caught the back of my shirt. My forward momentum meant I fell hard on the sidewalk. My knees and elbows are banged up. I started screaming for help. He smacked my face and it stung. He was crying, asking me why I was doing this and I didn’t know what to say. Why was he doing this to me? 

That’s when the Doctor rounded the corner. I’ve never seen that look in his eyes before and I never want to see it again. It was cold and hard and terrifying. He picked him up and threw him against the brick wall with such force, I thought he killed him. He might have...I don’t know. We just left him there. How am I supposed to feel about that? 

He helped me up and I cried the two blocks home. I know nothing really happened and that I was maybe being overly dramatic, but I was scared. I still am. What the hell just happened? Isn’t this something that happens in films or on the tv? 

He’s talking to someone- I don’t know if he rang the police or what’s happening, but I can hear him saying something. He’s hung up and is coming in. More later. 

\-- R. Tyler 

 

We talked. He looked me over and cleaned up my scrapes. Apparently I have a mild concussion from my head hitting the wall, but he said it’s not too bad. He keeps asking me if I’m okay and I keep assuring him that I am. 

He wanted to know what happened. After I told him everything he made me promise I’d call tomorrow and quit at the chippy. I am relieved.

I asked if the man was dead. He said no, but I’d never see him again. I’m not sure what to think. My mind keeps going back and forth and around in circles and I’m replaying what happened over and over again.

I know after all I’ve seen and done that this shouldn’t be bothering me. We’ve been chained up in alien prisons before, chased down by drooling aliens, slithering aliens, aliens with weapons. I mean, I wasn’t even really hurt. But it’s different. I don’t have my own bed to crawl into. I don’t even have a bed. Just the blasted foam mat. 

I’m crying again and I need to try and pull myself together. I’ll write more when I’m feeling up to it. 

Rose

 

~OOoOO~

 

6 November

I’m slowly getting over the whole situation. The Doctor didn’t go into work on Wednesday- he stayed with me because he knew I was still shaken up. Sometimes, I feel like he really cares about me. My dad died when I was little, so he’s sort of the closest thing to a father figure that I have. Though, I don’t really think of him as a father figure. It’s complicated and hard to explain. I guess I just feel protected around him; like he’s watching out for me. It’s a warm, cosy feeling. I feel safe with him. 

I did quit my job at the chippy, like he asked. I am going to try and get a different one, though. I want to do something to help pay for things we need. Also, sitting around the flat all day is boring. The Doctor told me that they might have a file clerk position opening up in a week or so, as one of the girls is moving. Since it’s an entry level job, not many people are interested within the organisation to fill it. I’d be in the same office as him, but under a different supervisor. I wouldn’t even have to walk home alone. I’m fixing up a CV to send in with him. I will let you know what happens. I’m afraid I’m getting all excited over nothing, to be honest. Probably the position will be filled internally, but you never know. 

The big news- we got a bed! I know it’s silly to be excited about, but I haven’t slept on a mattress for…well, I don’t know, I suppose it hasn’t been all that long, but it seems like forever. I think he opened a charge account to pay for it, because he hasn’t gotten his first pay check yet, and I know we didn’t have enough cash for it. I feel kind of guilty, because I’m afraid that I pushed him into getting it. 

When I was attacked a few days ago- I was trying to get comfortable and I was really upset and couldn’t stop crying and he asked me if he could do anything, I blurted out that I missed having a bed. The next day we bought one and the day after that, the truck brought it up, bed frame, mattress, and box springs. That’s why I feel a bit guilty. I mean, I was so upset over so many things that night- a bed was really the least of my concerns, but at the time, it seemed logical. I just wanted something to snuggle into, you know? 

He was so kind. I really thought he’d be annoyed with me and call me a stupid ape and yell and scream, but he didn’t. He held me. Do you know how much it means to be held by someone you are in awe of? I’m still not sure why he picked me to travel with, and now that we’re stuck and can’t travel, I’ve no idea why he’s hanging around, but I’m so, so glad that he is. 

The man who attacked me is indeed alive. He was taken to hospital where he was treated and then admitted to a Psychiatric facility. I hope he stays there for a very long time. I don’t know what the Doctor said to the police. I’m not entirely sure that he had anything to do with it, but I did hear him on the phone that night. I haven’t asked and I don’t think he’ll offer it up, so I will just let it alone. I wasn’t hurt and that man, whose name I still don’t know, is getting help. That’s something. 

The Doctor will be home soon and I suppose I ought to start tea. It’s been chilly today- the windows in this place leak quite a lot causing the flat to be draughty. I want something warm to eat. I think I’ll make pasta and then a salad to go along with it. Pasta sounds comforting, doesn’t it? I always thought it was. Suppose I ought to get to it, then. Till next time.

\--R. Tyler

 

~OOoOO~

 

10 November  
Home alone today. It’s gray and stormy and quite cold. I can feel a draught coming through the windows. This place doesn’t seem to be very well insulated. The heat isn’t coming on and I don’t know if it’s broken, if we haven’t had it turned on yet, or if there’s some other variable I haven’t thought of. 

We had a few bananas and I used two to make a loaf of banana bread. They weren’t quite ready yet, but if I wait a day longer, the Doctor will eat them and I really wanted an excuse to turn on the oven and warm up the flat a little bit. He’ll be happy with the bread, anyway. I know he likes it.

I’ve spent the last few days thinking about the TARDIS and where she is. The Doctor says she’s sentient and I believe him. I’m trying to understand why she left us here. He told me Gallifrey is gone; blown up in the Time War. If she can’t go home and there are no other Time Lords, where would she have gone? Can a spaceship become ill? Did she get tired of us? I honestly don’t know. 

He hasn’t said so, but he’s feeling guilty about something. I don’t know if it’s that we’re stuck here together or if it’s because of what happened last week. I’m afraid to ask as I don’t want to make it worse. I’ve been feeling quite a bit better in these past few days- not so jumpy.

He’s been sleeping with me- and no, not like that. I bring it up because he doesn’t sleep like I do. I mean, he does sleep, he just doesn’t need to every day. It doesn’t seem to matter, though. At night when I tell him I’m going back to bed he nods, flips out the light, and follows me back. Some nights we talk for a bit. He holds my hand and sometimes when I wake up, he’s spooning me. I was having a bad dream two nights ago and I woke up with him right beside me. He was making soft shushing noises and rubbing my shoulder. He brushed it off as nothing in the morning and I let it go at that. Maybe it was nothing and I’m acting like a pathetic schoolgirl about it. 

I don’t want to say anything I’ll regret, but…I’ve been having some very strong feelings for him. I mean, he’s an alien. What am I thinking, right? Still, sometimes I wonder. 

Knock on the door- be back. 

It was just the neighbour. She got a letter for the Doctor in her post by mistake. The funny thing is that there’s no stamp or even an address. It just says “for the Doctor”. I’m tempted to open it because nobody calls him “the Doctor”. Only I do that and only here. In public he asked me to call him John since we are pretending to be married. Anyway, I’m getting off track. The letter- it’s just an ordinary envelope. Does someone know we are stranded here? I mean, knowing him, this could be from his future self. It’s not in his hand, though. I have to wait another two hours till he comes home. 

I have a feeling this afternoon is going to drag on forever. 

\--R. Tyler

 

~OOoOO~

 

12 November

It was a page from a telephone directory. That’s what was in the envelope. The only thing else was a little slip of paper that said ‘keep an eye on this’. I don’t understand and I don’t know if he does either. I mean, it’s a phone directory. What could change? Ordinarily, I’d think that it’s just some strange joke but since it’s him and it’s me… I have a feeling it’s not as random as it seems. 

When I asked him about it, he shrugged, gave me one of those daft smiles, and asked me if my CV was ready. I handed it to him and he took it with him into the office today. The file clerk job has opened up and I’m really hoping to get it. 

The way he looks at me sometimes… I’m little afraid for the feelings I have for him. I won’t ever let it come between us, though. I feel guilty for even writing it down. It’s just…he’s so good. He’s got a job, he’s trying to keep us both positive and happy, he’s looking for a way to get us home (he hasn’t said so, but I know he is), and he’s healing people on top of it all. How could I not be a little bit in love with him? 

The heat was finally turned on. The handle for the pipes was turned to the off position. It seems so silly that I didn’t figure it out on my own. I realise that women are doing everything and anything these days, but one really does feel the part of “damsel in distress” when trying to turn the heat on in the apartment… I can run with the best of them, fight off aliens, and help save civilizations, but don’t ask Rose Tyler to turn the heat on. 

The place still isn’t all that warm, although it’s better than it was. My gram taught me how to crochet a long time ago, and I found a bunch of discounted yard and a crochet hook while we were out yesterday. It’ll probably take me months and months to finish a blanket, but it does help to pass the time. The yarn is a dark chocolate brown. They had a beautiful blue shade, too, but he almost looked hurt when I picked it up. He’s missing the ship so badly. I just wish I knew where the TARDIS went… Maybe if I knew I could help her to come back. 

I’m feeling jumpy today. I don’t know why. Well, I do. It’s from what happened a couple weeks ago, but… I mean, nothing else has happened. I’m just feeling a bit off. I wish he was here but there’s still about four hours till he’s done with his shift. I think it’s just the weather. It’s storming outside right now; thunder and lightning and the whole bit. It’s the middle of the day, but you wouldn’t know it because it’s so dim in here. The lights keep flickering and I’m just waiting for them to go out. 

I know I’m supposed to be forgetting about the whole thing now and feeling grateful that nothing more happened, but on days like today… I feel more like a little girl than I do a grown woman. 

\--Rose Tyler 

 

~OOoOO~

 

14 November

It’s only lunch time, but I thought I’d write a bit right now just because it’s been such a quiet day. Usually we’d be out at the shops picking up a few groceries, but it’s absolutely pouring right now so that’s on hold. 

I asked him this morning how he was doing. He tried to joke about it, but I asked again and again. Finally he sighed and put down the crossword puzzle he was doing. I was afraid I’d made him angry. He sat still for a long time and finally gave me a big smile. He said, “Rose Tyler, I’m doing better than you think I am.” 

I’m not sure if he said that for my benefit so I don’t worry so much, or if he really is alright. He’s been so domestic today. He made breakfast for us this morning- scrambled eggs, toast, and ham. He’s in the kitchen right now, as I’m writing this, fixing lunch. I told him I could do it, but he said he felt like making something special. It smells amazing, whatever it is. 

On Friday I did something that I’m not proud of and I haven’t told him yet. I rang my mum’s number. I wasn’t going to talk to her- just to hear her pick up would have been something. I needed someone. I needed the Doctor but he wasn’t here…so I tried her number. Dunno if she finally switched to only using a mobile or what, but the first time I rang I got the “this number is out of service message” and the second time it rang and rang but nobody answered. I hope she’s okay. I’m worried about her. 

I keep thinking that the page from the phone directory was the letter T, but I only saw it for a minute so I could be wrong. I haven’t seen it since the day it came… I’m not sure if the Doctor just put it away in a drawer or if he’s deliberately hiding it from me. I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but what if this has something to do with my mum? He wouldn’t tell me if it did, would he? 

I’m suddenly not feeling very hungry. 

\--R. Tyler

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone and welcome back for the second set of journal entries! Thank you for reading! I hope you are enjoying the tale! 
> 
> PS- Mwah, mwah, mwah to those of you who left kudos or have commented! <3

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to post this here in larger groupings just for ease of reading. What do you think? Do you prefer them in bi-weekly installments, monthly installments, or something else? I hate to make a new chapter for each day- that seems like more trouble for everyone than it's worth. 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading! I do appreciate it. While I am working from a plot, it's honestly pretty loose, and I like that this style allows me to kind of stray from it a bit when I need to. It's a different and kind of refreshing way to write. 
> 
> I'm always open to your comments/suggestions.


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